Fidelity Locksmith
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The technician arrived my house and noticed I had a toolbox next to the door that needed to be unlocked, and asked if I knew how to use said tools. I said yes, but I didn't know how to use them to break into my own house. He asked me, "you don't have a man around?"

The pricing index available online is incredibly deceitful (http://www.fidelitylocks…). The technician quoted me $180 to unlock my door plus a $29 service fee. I said, "at this point, wouldn't it be cheaper for me to break my door knob and replace it myself?" He stammered through an answer and then said that what he quoted was "standard for a locksmith." He then had the audacity to give me a "discount" so I would only have to pay $220 instead of $227 for ten minutes of "work."